Sometimes, a screenplay is more about the characters than the story it tells. Sometimes, the story is there to serve as a vehicle or a mechanism for allowing the characters to experience the growth they need to experience. Sometimes, the inner journey a character experiences in a screenplay is more important than the external journey they go on. Such is the case with A Real Pain.

Internal and external journeys

The nice thing about Jesse Eisenberg’s screenplay is that we’re taking three simultaneous journeys over the course of the story. We’re taking the external journey with David (Eisenberg) and Benji (Kieran Culkin) as they visit their ancestral Poland to learn about the ordeal their grandmother experienced at the hands of the Nazis. We’re also taking two internal journeys, one each with David and Benji, as they confront the pain that each of them carries. Benji openly expresses his pain and allows others to know what he’s feeling when he’s feeling it. David, on the other hand, is painfully introverted and struggles to maintain the appearance of a man who has his life together and is living life the way it should be lived.

The purpose of the external journey in A Real Pain is to motivate the growth each character experiences on their internal journeys. This script is loaded with dialogue, but the dialogue is layered with subtext. Eisenberg wields dialogue like weaponry in this script. Benji uses words as verbal daggers to cut the other characters to the quick, causing them to feel discomfort and pain when he does it, but on reflection, realizing that what he said makes sense, and they’ll use his words to make their lives better. At the same time, Benji lights up any room he walks into, and the ease with which he can open up to people and have them open up to him perplexes and frustrates David, who believes he’ll be better liked if he’s quiet and polite.

The juxtaposition between David and Benji couldn’t be starker.

David may be the character the other characters like. However, Benji is the character the other characters respect. The pain that both characters feel drives their personalities, and it’s impossible to know by the end which of them is in a better place internally. It’s clear that David is in a better external position, but is he happier? The screenwriter allows us to answer that question for ourselves.

Another thing to love about the script is that it produced a tight 90-minute movie. In a world of Brutalists, we need more Real Pains. Eisenberg, who also directed the film, gave us a complete Hero’s Journey for all the internal and external journeys in the script in a way that was subtle, emotional, and riveting.

Act 1:

Ordinary World – This is very much get-to-know-you exposition. Benji is a laid-back slacker who can talk to and get along with anyone, but it’s clear that something about him isn’t right. David is a stressed-out Type A personality who has his shit together but is unapproachable and on antidepressants. They clearly care about each other, but they’re both self-absorbed in their own way. They meet up at the airport and fly to Poland.

Call to Adventure – They meet the other members of their group. Everyone relates to Benji despite how uncomfortable his antics make David. We see how affected Benji is by his grandmother’s death. The tour they signed up for shows the history of Jewish people of the region and culminates with a trip to the local concentration camp. James, the tour guide, mentions this will be a tour about pain but it celebrates the most resilient people. This is a great use of foreshadowing and subtext.

Refusal – Benji doesn’t conform to the standards of the tour and poses for whacky photos in front of a solemn statue. While everyone else loves this, David hates it.

Meeting the Mentor – Benji acts as an archetypal mentor to David when he tells David he’s a good guy stuck in the body of someone who’s always late and always stressed.

Act 2

Crossing the First Threshold – They get on a train or the next leg of the tour.

Tests Allies and Enemies – Benji doesn’t feel right about traveling 1^st class when their ancestors were herded into trains like cattle, causing him to have his first real freak out. He goes to the back of the train, and David follows him. Benji says people just aren’t supposed to be happy all the time. He’s in touch with his emotions in a way that David is not. David falls asleep, and they miss their stop. David is frustrated with Benji at first for not waking him up, but then he feels a sense of excitement as they avoid the conductor on the train back. They end up in first clas,s but Benji says they earned it this time.

They get to Lubelin and learn about its history. Marcia (Jennifer Grey) tells Benji she appreciates what he said about suffering. Eloge (Kurt Egyiawan) agrees. David doesn’t think thinking about suffering all the time helps, but the others chastise him for feeling that way, stating the only way to overcome pain is to confront it.

Approach – They cross the Jewish gate into the ghetto and see places that used to be in places but aren’t anymore. They get to the cemetery that has the oldest tombstones in Poland. Benji freaks out on James and asks him to tone it down. Benji feels like now is the time for quiet reflection, and James is pedantically explaining every bit of minutia. Benji just wants to peacefully meditate over it and empathize with the people who went through this and still live in the area. David is horrified by Benji’s behavior.

Supreme Ordeal – Dinner at the restaurant. Benji has a moment and excuses himself rudely. David apologizes for Benji’s behavior and rants about the problem that is Benji. He confesses that Benji tried to kill himself before they hear Benji playing the bar piano. Everyone in the group is mesmerized by Benji, and David can’t take it anymore and leaves for the hotel.

Reward – David tries to FaceTime with his wife, but she doesn’t answer. He goes to sleep. Benji comes in and leaves and David can’t find him. He waits in the hotel until Benji calls him the next morning, saying everyone is waiting for him.

Act 3

The Road Back – They tour the concentration camp, and it emotionally overwhelms Benji. They return to the hotel and the group says goodbye to the guys since they’re leaving the tour to go see grandma’s house. James gives Benji a heartfelt goodbye that ends with a hug before giving a curt and abrupt goodbye to David.

Resurrection – Benji and David tour the city and smoke a joint on the top of a hotel. They discuss plans for when they get back. David wants to know that Benji has a plan, but he’s coy and talks about how emotional David used to be. David talks about how he had to grow up and how needy Benji is. David confesses how upset he is with Benji’s suicide attempt and how frustrating it is that Benji can act as free as he wants and can light up any room, but he just can’t be that way.

They find their grandmother’s house the next day. Benji tells a story about when she slapped him in a restaurant and how it was the best thing that ever happened to him because it proved she cared more about him than how she looked like in public. David wants to put a stone on the stoop to commemorate her. It’s a sensitive moment between the two of them, but a neighbor complains that the lady living there currently might trip, so they must pick them up. Even that is thwarted.

Return with the Elixir – They fly back to New York. David goes home to his family, but Benji stays in the airport, clearly homeless and with nowhere else to go. And yet, he smiles.

A Real Pain is not a movie that’s going to blow you away with action and excitement. But it will make you feel many different emotions. There’s a lot of dialogue, but it’s still a visual story. It’s also deep. As the title suggests, it’s about pain and how we deal with that pain, and how the most uncomfortable way to deal with pain is often the most effective way to deal with it. Too many people suppress their pain for whatever reason, but mostly over embarrassment or not wanting to make others uncomfortable. This movie and this screenplay tell us to rethink that idea.

Click here to see my overall review of A Real Pain.

Sometimes politics creates a great story and sometimes politics gets in the way of a good story. September 5 is an example of both. This film is a compelling take on the horrific kidnapping and murder of the Israeli Olympic team during the 1972 games in Munich. It’s told from the point of view of the ABC Sports team covering the games and being thrust into covering a story for which they had no preparation or training. There have been movies and documentaries about this event in the past, most notably Steven Spielberg’s Munich, which was nominated for five Oscars twenty years ago, including Best Picture.

This was, unfortunately, the wrong year for this film to be Oscar-eligible. While it was nominated for Best Original Screenplay, this movie was certainly worthy of a Best Picture nod if the situation in Gaza wasn’t so polarizing. I don’t have any inside information about it. That’s my opinion based on how political the Academy has been in the past about what gets nominated and what doesn’t. September 5 was absolutely one of the best pictures of the year, but many in the Academy likely wanted to avoid the headaches that a Best Picture nomination would have delivered. Getting the Best Screenplay nomination feels a little like a consolation prize.

The Best Screenplay nomination was absolutely valid

With a brisk running time of an hour and thirty-five minutes, the screenplay gives a tight story that is the flip side of Saturday Night. Both films are about momentous moments in television history from the 70s and tell the behind-the-scenes moments of those events. Whereas Saturday Night is frenetic, chaotic, uproarious, and irreverent, September 5 is measured, respectful, and intense. The circumstances surrounding both events are obviously polar opposite from each other, and both films handled the material appropriately.

The screenplay for September 5 does much more than just a portrayal of the events. This is a deep and layered script that is about prejudice and all the forms and levels it comes in. We see examples of sexism, misogyny, and national prejudice. The script also has deep thematic components about overcoming inexperience and unprepared people being thrust into situations they’re not ready for. Not only was the Olympics TV crew not ready to cover a hard news story, but the German authorities were also completely unprepared to prevent this attack from happening and they were unprepared to do anything about it once the wheels were in motion. The screenplay shows both of those issues brilliantly.

The screenplay meticulously shows characters struggling and overcoming these challenges to various degrees of success.

Another impressive thing about the screenplay for September 5 is the fact that screenwriters Moritz Binder, Tim Fehlbaum, and Alex David were able to take true events and craft them into a screenplay with a tight story structure and a clear Hero’s Journey. Shoe-horning real events into 3-Act dramatic structure is something many screenwriters struggle with, but this script is something that screenwriters attempting to write about real events should reference.

Warning! Spoilers

Here is a breakdown of the Hero’s Journey in September 5.

Act 1

Ordinary World – We see the crew signing off their Olympic coverage for the day. These are the first Olympics being broadcast around the world. It’s a big deal that the Olympics are in Germany less than 30 years after the end of WWII. Still, there are tensions between nationalities and races. Mark Spitz is the most famous athlete from the US, winning a record 9 medals at the games. ABC executives want to ask Mark Spitz about a Jew winning so many gold medals in Hitler’s backyard. We see them preparing for the next day’s broadcast.

Call to Adventure – We meet Geoffrey Mason (John Magaro), an inexperienced producer is put in charge of the control room. The hostage crisis begins. They call anchor Jim McKay to come in and send Peter Jennings (Benjamin Watkins) to the Olympic Village to try and get images. I love that all the footage of McKay is archival rather than having an actor play him.

Refusal – They hear there may be a hostage crisis involving the Israeli athletes, but they must wait for confirmation. Marvin Bader (Ben Chaplin) wants Mason to run the broadcast over the objections of Roone Alredge (Peter Sarsgaard).

Meeting the Mentor – Mason knows what they need to get a live shot of the apartment. He meets assistant Marianne Gebhardt (Leonie Benesch), who is a German citizen and is able to translate the German broadcasts. Roone struggles with the network to get access to the satellite for the timeslot they need, and they want the News Division to handle the story. Roome refuses to give it up.

Act 2

Crossing the First Threshold – Roone wants to find out who’s in the building and their backgrounds. They start getting information about the hostages.

Tests, Allies, and Enemies – They masquerade Gary, one of the crew, as an athlete so he can get into the village to get the film canister of footage of the terrorist on the balcony. Bader wants to know how many terrorists there are. Jennings says the terrorists are professionals and tells them to let News take over. Roone encourages the team that this is their story, and they are keeping it.

They prepare for the opening at 1 p.m. Gary gets the film to the developer. They get the iconic shot of the masked man on the balcony, and Mason says that’s the opener. They argue over what to show. Bader doesn’t want to show live in case someone gets shot. Roone says we follow where the story goes. Mason compromises to shoot it on 16mm, so they have time to make the call.

Approach – Jim McKay starts the broadcast. He announces what’s going on and then talks about the strange juxtaposition. We see more racism and sexism. They find out one of the Israeli coaches escaped, and they want to interview him.

Supreme Ordeal – McKay interviews Sakolski, but they lose the live feed to CBS. Assistant Editor Judy figures they can put the ABC logo on the feed so it can be on CBS but also get credit for it. The interview is emotional and humanizes everything.

The games are suspended. Police clear all press out of the village. Mason tells Jennings over the walkie-talkie that it’s happening and tells him to hide. Then tells him the police are about to make a move, and the police come in to tell them to stop the broadcast because the terrorists could be seeing it in the Israeli apartment.

Reward – They realize it’s local German police who are unprepared for this. Peter has received breaking information. The terrorists allow hostages to be seen. Roone tells them to turn the cameras back on, and they see Andrei Spitzer, the fencing coach, being held at gunpoint. They hear talk of them flying out of the country to Cairo.

The Road Back – Helicopters arrive to take terrorists and hostages to the airport. But there are too many people around. Howard Cosell sees the hostages getting on the bus. They watch the helicopter fly away. Mason tells Marianne to get to the airport.

Act 3

Resurrection – They tell Jennings to get back to the studio. They hear all hell has broken out at the airport, and there is shooting. Marianne sees a firefight at the airport. There is a rumor that the hostages are free. But they don’t get confirmation. Mason wants McKay to report the news but to say, “as we’re hearing.” Bader tells him it must be confirmed first. They think they get that confirmation, and McKay gives the report. They start celebrating. Roone and Bader watch an official getting interviewed and don’t like his tone or what he’s saying.

They start to get conflicting reports that there’s still shooting going on at the airport. Bader finds out the hostages are all dead. He tells Mason and Roone that he has confirmation. Marianne calls and confirms. McKay then gives the tragic news to the world.

Return with the Elixir – Mason meets with Marianne, and they comfort each other. She says Germany failed. Mason then meets with Roone, who wants Mason to be in charge of taping the commemoration, and Roone tells Maon he did a hell of a job. Mason says it was a catastrophe before walking to the control room and shutting everything down.

This is a story with rising drama and palpable tension.

September 5 is a tight screenplay with a clear Hero’s Journey and deep thematic components dealing with prejudice and the need to grow into crises you might not be ready for. This deep screenplay is very much worthy of its Best Original Screenplay nomination.

This is the most difficult screenplay so far for me to give an in-depth analysis of. I’m going to come right out and say this script, in particular, and the movie, in general, perplexed me. That is not to say that I didn’t enjoy it or that I didn’t find it compelling or powerful. Just the opposite is true, in fact. But the way director RaMell Ross handled shooting the movie, and the non-traditional way in which the story, as well as the powerful message and narrative, made watching this movie something that took considerable effort. This is a film and a screenplay that challenges people of a certain race to examine the state of our country, how we got to where we are, and how things went so very wrong.

Like many films this year, Nickel Boys has a pessimistic point of view.

Thematically, this might be the strongest script of the year. This script starts off in an emotional way. It poses the question, are people born bad because of the color of their skin they’re born with, or has that attitude been instilled at an institutional level? That was the point that stuck with me almost from the beginning. We see as we see Elwood (Ethan Herisse), the script’s protagonist, go on his journey through the script that the racism of the South, and the country in general, was not going to let him get ahead. The script also proposes that slavery never really went away. It just arrived in a new form called incarceration. Elwood is essentially enslaved and dehumanized over the course of the script, and his attempts to use the power of his intellect and humanity always end badly.

One of the challenges with this screenplay is that it’s a bit scattered. There is a traditional Hero’s Journey in it, but the stages are mixed and kind of unclear, especially in the second half of the film. However, there is a clear Ordinary World, there is a clear Special World, and there is a clear Return. Ross also wrote the screenplay with co-screenwriter Joslyn Barnes, and it’s based on the book of the same title by Colson Whitehead. While the screenwriting is non-traditional, it is no less effective in crafting a powerful narrative and dramatic story.

The Ordinary World of the film shows Elwood as a kind, smart, talented African American teenager growing up in the segregated South of the 1960s. He gets an opportunity to go to art school and accepts a ride while walking there. Unbeknownst to him, the guy who picked him up stole the car he’s driving and soon gets pulled over. Elwood is basically guilty by association.

Elwood Crosses the First Threshold when he is sent to Nickel Academy, a reform school near Tallahassee. We know right away things will be challenging when the two white boys with him are dropped off at a nice-looking white mansion and he’s taken to a back house. The Tests, Allies, and Enemies portion of the journey shows him meeting people he can and can’t trust, including Turner (Brandon Wilson), who serves the story as an archetypal shapeshifter. We’re never entirely sure if we can trust him or not, though he ultimately ends the script as a true ally for Elwood. Enemies like Spencer and Blakely, oppressive and abusive masters of the school, are clear right away, and Blakely is there for Elwood to fail an early test that leads to him experiencing the Supreme Ordeal of being whipped by Spencer.

This is the point of the script where the Hero’s Journey becomes a little loose. It had been tight to that point, but it slackened up here. There is a Reward, but it’s spread over the next half hour of the story as Elwood discovers the corruption of Nickel Academy goes beyond the abuse, and he has the idea to document it to ultimately get the school closed down. Elwood was inspired by Martin Luther King’s belief in non-violent protest and knew that he could bring Nickel down from the inside without firing a shot or throwing a punch.

WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!

The third act begins with the Road Back when the admins discover what Elwood wants to do and put him in the hot box with the intent to kill him and bury him in the back with so many other unmarked graves that have been dug over the years. Turner discovers this plan and breaks Elwood out. They escape the academy on bikes, but Harper, one of the employees, catches up with them and shoots Elwood, killing him in a field. The Resurrection is that Turner gets away and takes Elwood’s name, escaping to New York City. The Return with the Elixir is the discovery of the unmarked graves some 20 years later.

Nickel Boys is a film that should make white people feel uncomfortable. Indeed, I didn’t feel like I was enjoying the film while I was watching it. However, shortly after it ended, it didn’t take a lot of reflection to realize I had just watched a powerful film that did exactly what it was supposed to do. Do I think this is the Best-Adapted Screenplay of the year? I do not. However, it is definitely worthy of its nomination, and it is a film that shows how unchecked power can become abusive, especially when groups of people are dehumanized.

That, in and of itself, is a powerful lesson for today’s world.

I was overjoyed to see Sing Sing get some Oscar love in the form of a couple nominations. I doubt it will win anything, but the fact that it was nominated is a win in and of itself. I am especially happy that one of those nominations was for Best Adapted Screenplay. Sing Sing is an incredibly moving film thick with emotion and running the full gamut between hope and despair.

Based on the book, The Sing Sing Follies by Clarence “Divine Eye” Maclin, Sing Sing follows a theater group run by a group of inmates in Sing Sing Prison in New York State. The group’s leader is John “Divine G” Witfield (Coleman Domingo), a wrongly accused inmate who is trying to simultaneously prove his innocence, convince parole boards he’s reformed, and provide a creative outlet for men you wouldn’t normally associate with the theater. The Rehabilitation Through Arts Program (RTA) helps these men find a sense of purpose, an the creative outlet broadens their worlds in ways that otherwise wouldn’t be possible.

The film was in theaters over the summer, and I wrote a more comprehensive review here. Even though this post focuses mainly on the script, make no mistake about it, this film is outstanding in all facets, especially the acting and directing. I mentioned in my previous blog about Sing Sing, that the screenplay is largely character-driven, and it doesn’t follow a traditional 3-Act structure, but it does have a subtle Hero’s Journey. Sing Sing’s screenplay is the exception that proves the rule. In taking a closer look at it, I do see more of a 3-Act structure than I did on the first viewing, but it is as subtle as the Hero’s Journey is in it. While the story is important in this screenplay, it’s more about the characters, their circumstances, and their growth.

Act 1

Divine G’s Ordinary World is him living as an inmate in Sing Sing Correctional Facility for a crime he didn’t commit as the leader of the RTA. He works closely with Brent Buell (Paul Raci), a social worker from outside the prison who is the program’s director, and serves as Divine G’s Meeting of the Mentor. Upon completion of the latest production, Divine G presents a Call to Adventure to Clarence “Divine Eye” Maclin to join the next show. Divine Eye is more belligerent and confrontational, and sees little value in joining a theater group, which acts as the Refusal to the Call. Divine Eye Crosses the First Threshold when he decides to join the RTA.

Act 2

The Tests, Allies, and Enemies portion of the Hero’s Journey follows as Divine Eye wants the next show to be a comedy, but Divine G wants to do a drama to show off his acting skills. Their conflict deepens when Divine Eye convinces the rest of the inmates to go with the comedy and then Divine Eye auditions for and receives the one dramatic role in the show over Divine G. The Approach shows Divine Eye opening up to Devine G and the group trying to get permission to put on the show. The Supreme Ordeal shows Divine Eye and Divine G going to their parole hearings. Divine G’s is especially painful and awkward when he talks about acting in the shows and one of the committee members asks him if he’s acting now. His parole is denied, but Divine Eye’s is approved. Divine G’s friend Mike Mike dies, sending Divine G into a personal spiral in which he loses all hope and takes all his anger out on his fellow RTA members and leaving the production. The Reward shows Divine G withdrawing from everything, despair having completely taken over.

Act III

The Resurrection shows Divine G. using the time to himself to figure out what really upset him and how the group is really the best thing, really the only good thing in his life. Divine Eye reconnects with him and invites him back to the production. Divine G. apologizes and is welcomed back with open arms. After the performance, we get the Return with the Elixir. Divine G is paroled a year later and leaves the prison a free man. Divine Eye picks him up and takes him to a new life as a free man.

So clearly, there is a dramatic 3-Act structure and a Hero’s Journey. This isn’t a complex story. There aren’t a lot of subplots or layers to the storyline that keep the audience guessing like some of the other nominees this year. What this screenplay does, perhaps better than any of the other nominees, as it develops characters and relationships that are the backbone of the movie. The story is secondary in Sing Sing. This is a movie about people, the circumstances they live in, and the way they survive circumstances that would kill most people.

Divine G. is the protagonist, and we see the story unfold through his eyes. We watch him go from hope to despair and back again. We watch Divine Eye go from closed off tough guy to a sensitive man who understands that might doesn’t necessarily mean right, as he was taught his whole life leading to now. This screenplay gives us archetypes like the Hero, the Trickster, the Shapeshifter, the Shadow, and the Mentor in ways that feel natural and organic. We’re less concerned about what happens with the story and more concerned about how the story changes the characters and spurs their growth.

If you are an aspiring screenwriter looking for ways to build characters with depth, pathos and believable personalities, Sing Sing is a script you should know.

Conclave is my favorite film and my favorite screenplay of the year. Director Edward Berger created a film in such a way as to make something that most people would find mundane into a riveting drama that felt so compelling that it felt like the fate of the world was at stake. That isn’t necessarily hyperbole, as the Pope is the leader of the world’s 1.4 billion Catholics. That’s a sizeable portion of the world’s population using one man as their spiritual advisor and role model.

Screenwriter Peter Straughan crafted a screenplay based on the novel by Robert Harris that was tight, layered, and kept the audience wondering who wanted the papacy and for what reason, and showed a group of men, some of whom were very good, but all of which were deeply flawed, who sought this power for different reasons. The irony of the film and of the papacy is that those who do not want it are the most deserving, and those who want it the most are the ones who should be kept farthest from it.

This film is 100% drama. There are no action sequences in it, although there is an explosion. However, the drama holds the audience’s attention far better than any car chase or CG-laden action sequence could. The screenwriting in this script tells a story about loyalty and betrayal and about who the future will belong to. Will it belong to a few elites who view themselves as the arbiters of morality? Or will it belong to all of us? Will God grant salvation to those who follow strict dogma? Or will He show mercy to all?  Conclave is about much more than a group of Cardinals electing a new pope. It is about all of us deciding what our future will be.

Unlike many other films this year, Conclave’s message is one of hope.

Many of the films that received this year’s most prestigious nominations were tonally pessimistic. Not all of them, but many of them were. Conclave, on the other hand, starts out with Cardinal Lawrence (Ralph Fiennes) as the Dean of the College of Cardinals. He is in charge of organizing and managing the Conclave, but he is struggling with his faith. He doesn’t know where he belongs, and he believes the deceased pope had lost faith in him before his passing. Over the course of the film, his faith is resurrected as he once again feels the presence of the Holy Spirit. Perhaps the most impressive thing about Conclave is that it told a spiritual story in a secular way and in a way that both believers and non-believers will appreciate and enjoy.

But on to the screenplay.

Conclave works so well because it is dramatic. It is dramatic because Straughan gave the script a tight Hero’s Journey and a story structure that is subtle but heightens drama, conflict, and intrigue to captivate viewers and hold tightly to their attention. Here is a rough outline of Conclave’s Hero’s Journey.

Ordinary World – The Pope is dead.

Call to Adventure – Lawrence is called to organize the Conclave to select a new pope.

Refusal – Lawrence doubts his faith and his abilities, and he doesn’t want to be Dean of the Conclave.

Meeting the Mentor – Cardinal Aldo Bellini (Stanley Tucci) impresses upon Lawrence the importance of a progressive getting elected to continue the work of the previous pope and threatens that a conservative like Cardinal Tedesco (Sergio Castellitto) will undo the work of the previous 50 years (high stakes). Sister Agnes (Isabella Rossellini) is introduced here and will become a mentor and an ally later in the film. We also meet Cardinal Benitez, who was only known to the late pope and was secretly the Cardinal of Kabul

Crossing the First Threshold – The Conclave Begins.

Tests, Allies, and Enemies – Lines are drawn. It’s clear who will be a good pope and who will not. Different factions form. Lawrence gives a call to action at the conference about certainty in one of the most brilliantly written and brilliantly performed monologues I’ve ever seen. The script could win the Oscar for that monologue alone. The ballots don’t go their way. Lawrence receives information about Cardinal Tremblay (John Lithgow) that leads to suspicion.

Approach – Lawrence learns of a terrorist attack in another part of the city, but being sequestered, he keeps that information from the other Cardinals for fear that it will influence how they vote. Then, a confrontation between frontrunner Cardinal Adeyemi Lucian Msamati) and a young nun leads to…

Supreme Ordeal – Lawrence disqualifies Adeyemi, opening the door for Tedesco and throwing the Conclave into more uncertainty. The direction of the story shifts here from the goal of getting Aldo elected to simply preventing Tedesco from ascending to the papacy, even if it means pushing Tremblay’s candidacy.

Reward – Lawrence puts his faith in God to select the Pope. “Let God’s will be done,” he says. They decide on Tremblay but then Lawrence gets evidence of Tremblay’s corruption from Sister Agnes. Lawrence breaks the seal of the deceased pope’s apartment and discovers how deep Tremblay’s corruption goes.

The Road Back – Lawrence must decide whether to share the information with the other Cardinals. Lawrence realizes Aldo lacks the moral courage to be Pope because he’s willing to sit on the information for fear it will turn the Cardinals to Tedesco. Lawrence decides to share the information. It appears Tedesco will win, and Lawrence is the only one who can stop him. He even admits he would choose the name John if elected when he previously said he never gave any thought to what his papal name would be. Then, a terrorist attack blows out the windows of the cathedral as Lawrence is about to cast his vote for himself.

Resurrection – Tedesco uses racism to show why the church should be more conservative. Cardinal Benitez stands against Tedesco and says the Church is in our hearts and should be looking towards the future. Back in the cathedral, the wind blows the Holy Spirit in through the broken window. Benitez wins on the next ballot and takes the name Innocent.

Return With the Elixir – The twist. “I am what God made me. I know what it is to exist between the world’s certainties.”

This film has been out for a while, but I’m not going to spoil the ending in case the reader hasn’t seen it.

Conclave is about a man rediscovering his faith. Not only that but in an archetypal way, his faith is resurrected through the tests he faces as the story’s hero. His character arc was subtle but powerful. The drama in the story is also subtle and powerful. Conclave is a quiet but powerful movie, and its layered screenplay, with its emotional character arcs and thoughtful storytelling, is the best adapted screenplay of the year.

I wrote a blog on this film earlier this year, but this post will focus on the screenplay. As everyone knows, A Complete Unknown is a biopic about Bob Dylan’s early career, how he dealt with rising fame, his tumultuous relationships with Joan Baez and Sylvie Russo, and his struggle to define himself as more than a folk singer. Discussing this film in my podcast, I described it as broad but shallow. Screenwriters James Mangold and Jay Crocks adapted Elijah Wald’s book. Dylan Goes Electric somewhat effectively in getting as much material as they could into the film but they were unable to explore anything much beyond the surface level.

Screenplays for biopics are very difficult to tackle. Screenplays are expected to adhere to specific structural components to create stories with rising levels of drama and significant conflict and tension. The problem is that the real lives of people rarely fit neatly into a 3-act structure, necessitating creative license to be taken. A delicate balance often needs to be taken. Add too much creative license and the screenplay will be unrealistic and will alienate fans of the original artist or those who know a lot about him or her. Stay too realistic, and you risk writing a script that lacks drama with potentially wonky pacing and story structure.

Mangold and Crocks chose to sacrifice depth to cast a wide net.

Writing a screenplay is always about the choices you make. Those choices determine what the director has to work with and what kind of film will ultimately be produced. I am not saying this to be critical in any way of the choices that Mangold, who is also the film’s director, and Crocks made. They went with a broad story covering as much material as possible to make the best story and draw the largest audience. They were rewarded with one of the most critically acclaimed movies of the year, a Best Picture Nomination, a Best Adapted Screenplay Nomination, and eight Academy Award Nominations in total.

However, a case could be made that more depth would have made a better film.

A Complete Unknown is a good film and there were great moments. The moments that were great showed Dylan’s bucking tradition. The most dramatic moments showed him struggling with his relationships with Baez and Russo. They showed him as an intensely introverted person struggling to deal with his meteoric rise to become one of the most popular musicians at a time when musicians were most popular. The problem is we didn’t care about any of it.

I always tell writers that the plot is what happens, and the story is why we care. The writers did a good job of cramming a real-life story into a balanced story that had a complete 3-act structure, but they didn’t do enough to get us into the weeds.

I wanted to see more of the turmoil brought on by his simultaneous love interests. I wanted to see why it was important to him to go electric. He makes the point that he doesn’t want to be put in a box and that he wants to explore different genres. In fact, the last third of the movie does delve into this idea and it creates a dramatic ending. Unfortunately, it didn’t reach its full potential because Mangold and Crocks hadn’t laid enough groundwork to engage the audience sufficiently.

One thing the writers did that worked well from a structural standpoint. I often espouse the fact that screenplays are really written in four acts rather than three acts. I have blogged about it in the past and taught seminars on it as well. The screenplay for A Complete Unknown was written in four acts, and each act primarily follows a different trope. Act I shows Dylan in his Ordinary World as a humble folk musician slowly gaining popularity. Act II shows him struggling with his relationships with Baez and Russo. Act III shows him dealing with fame and struggling to reconcile with it. Act IV shows him wanting to move beyond folk music and become a more well-rounded performer.

The problem I have with this structure is there was no real conflict until the fourth act. There was a lot of great music, and the character development between Dylan and his love interests and between Dylan and his allies and eventual enemies was nice. But the lack of conflict resulted in lack of drama. There should have at least been conflict between Dylan and Baez and between Dylan and Russo. There was a small amount, but not enough to make that portion of the script as dramatic as it should have been.

There is a moment in Act IV when Dylan convinces Russo to go with him to the Newport Folk Festival, where he’s planning on performing an electric set because he needs her support. It should have been an incredibly dramatic moment, but it fell flat because we didn’t get into their relationship enough. There were no stakes for the characters or for the audience. Someone unfamiliar with Dylan’s life should have had a rooting interest in whether he ended up with Baez or with Russo. That would have created conflict between the women, and it would have created drama in the story. Because that drama wasn’t created and built on, there was no emotional reaction to Dylan asking Russo to go to the festival with him, and that should have been the most emotional moment of the script.

In a weird way, one of the overall film’s greatest strengths turned into one of the screenplay’s biggest weaknesses. There are a lot of songs in this film. The movie is almost like a glorified Bob Dylan concert movie. Not only are there a lot of songs, but Mangold sticks with most of the songs in their entirety. Until the fourth act, most of the story in the script feels like it’s there to get us from one song to another. The number of songs is great for showing how prolific Dylan was as a songwriter, and it makes for an entertaining film if you like Dylan’s music, which I do, but it doesn’t do much for the story. In my opinion, this is where Mangold and Crocks did not succeed as screenwriters. They needed to find a better balance between the songs and the story. There was a bit of instant gratification in hearing all those songs, but it led to an empty feeling leaving the theater.

The songs were like drinking a soda that tastes good but does little to quench your thirst. They were entertaining in that moment, but ironically didn’t do enough to tell the story of Dylan’s life. This is ironic because so many of Dylan’s songs told compelling stories, and the film that told the story of his life was not compelling enough.

The screenplay for A Complete Unknown is very good. It is also flawed and should not be named this year’s Best Adapted Screenplay.