I finally got around to watching Emilia Pérez on Netflix the other night to see what all the fuss was about. I had seen clips of the one song that everyone is deservedly mocking online, and thinking that it was representative of the film, I fully expected to hate it.

And I almost did hate it.

I have a conflicted view of this film. It was one of those movies I refer to as “almost great.” I don’t mean “almost great” in that it was very good, almost to the point of being great. No, I’m afraid this movie was not very good at all. But it could have been great if they had made a couple of key decisions differently. The components were there for this to be an outstanding film. It had a cool premise, and there were some dramatic moments that could have spawned a riveting and dramatic movie. The performances by the actors were all outstanding. The cinematography was excellent, and the screenplay, at least the parts of it that moved the story forward, was excellent.

This movie should never have been a musical.

I would like to say that I applaud what the filmmakers were attempting to do with Emilia Pérez. I would always encourage any filmmaker to think outside the box. But this movie probably went a little too far. A movie about a trans gangster would probably have been outside the box enough to give this film a ton of originality. The concept of this gangster transitioning to a woman, not only to evade the authorities and his enemies but because he legitimately identified as a woman creates an incredibly dramatic scenario that can resonate with a contemporary audience. What’s more, the idea behind it isn’t, for lack of a better term, “woke.” It’s a legit story device that leads to dramatic situations involving the life, wife, and children that Emilia leaves behind as she attempts to reconcile her past life at the same time. The conflicts and dramatic situations that arise from it are compelling and entertaining.

But it should never have been a musical.

I like musicals. There are some musicals that I love. I loved Wicked, and this film beating out that film for Best Musical or Comedy should spawn a criminal investigation. The songs in Emilia Pérez are atrocious. I have never heard a worse collection of songs in one movie in my life. Also, the songs are bad, and there are way too many of them. We barely ever go more than ten minutes, and usually, much less time, before someone breaks into a terrible song. Even El Mal, this year’s Golden Globe Best Original Song winner, completely took me out of the movie when Zoe Saldana started singing it. The best songs in films should accentuate and propel the stories they’re helping to tell, not distract you from them. That is all the songs of Emilia Pérez accomplished.

Emilia Pérez could have been a great film. If they had been inspired by Film Noir or the great gangster films of the 60s and 70s, this film could have ranked proudly among them. By turning it into a musical, and a bad musical at that, they showed they didn’t respect their own work. Ultimately, that’s my issue with this film. There’s no self-respect in it. Sometimes, that’s ok if you’re creating something satirical. But this film is not a satire. Well, not intentionally, anyway. In being unintentionally satirical, it completely negates the important and powerful statement it was attempting to make.

It was ultimately a gigantic missed opportunity.